Tips For Dealing With Feelings

2023 Author: Wallace Forman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-11-27 18:19

Tips for dealing with feelings

Perceiving emotions and “balancing” them is always a challenge. But dealing with it can be developed further in the course of life. Find out more about different styles of coping with emotional life and discover tips on "emotional management" in everyday life.

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Ways of dealing with feelings

Emotions accompany us every day. In the course of life we learn to deal with our emotional world. Because feelings influence thoughts and vice versa. They also offer great motivation for action. In order to regulate emotions, according to the psychologist Daniel Kahneman, there are roughly two styles that can contribute to understanding: the emotional and the cognitive style.

However, these styles are extreme and serve as an example for illustration. None of the styles is worse or better, just different. The balance is crucial. The key is flexibility in this regard. For more information on the development and regulation of feelings, see The World of Emotions.

Emotional style

Emotional conflict and problem situations are spontaneously regulated by feelings. This is especially useful in dangerous or complex situations. An excess of emotional style, on the other hand, leads to outbursts of feeling, which are usually not very helpful.

Cognitive style

If the cognitive style dominates, people appear calm and sensible even in emotional situations - sometimes also cool and distant. To create this image, they suppress feelings, try to transform them into sensible thoughts or offer quick solutions to problems.

How can I deal with feelings?

Feelings influence thoughts and vice versa - they can be strengthening or weakening. This can be used for personal "feeling management".

The following measures can help you cope with your feelings:

• Re-evaluate facts or experiences: Look at them from a different perspective that also allows positive or constructive perspectives. However, this is not about “talking nicely” to yourself.
• Develop problem-solving strategies: Avoiding things or situations can serve an important purpose. However, too much avoidance is not beneficial in the long term. Feel your way in small steps. What could help you in this situation? What wealth of experience can you draw from? Can the circumstances change?
• Train yourself in acceptance: That doesn't mean just accepting everything. However, some things are difficult or impossible to change.
• Express your feelings: Feelings won't go away by repressing them. Sooner or later they want to be expressed appropriately in every situation. Long-term suppression leads to overexcitation of the nervous system and consequently increases the risk of developing depression or burnout, among other things.
• Limit yourself: In some situations it is easy to confuse your own feelings with those of others. Here it helps to keep asking yourself: "What am I feeling right now?"
• Learn a relaxation technique: For example progressive muscle relaxation according to Jacobson or mindfulness techniques. Regular rest is also important so that you can simply switch off from time to time.
• Maintain your social contacts: Through contact with other people you can exchange feelings and also receive feedback from a different perspective.
• Concentrate on the essentials: If you get overwhelmed by emotions, try to focus on what is important at the moment or to breathe calmly. This will give you "ground under your feet" again.
• Familiarize yourself with the rules of successful communication: You will benefit both privately and professionally. For information on, for example, a good exchange within the family, see Communication within the family.
• Become more independent of external stimuli and circumstances: ask yourself what power you want to give them? How decisive can you be for your inner being?
• Keep a lucky diary: A lucky diary can help to better visualize positive feelings and moments of happiness. You can find more information under Happiness & Wellbeing.
• Say goodbye to feelings that are no longer needed: Old resentment or fear, although there is no longer any danger, can, for example, become major stumbling blocks for further personal development.
• Build movement into your life: whether for a walk, a short hike or your favorite sport. Healthy exercise reduces stress and thus supports you in coping with emotions.
• Avoid unhelpful coping strategies: a certain level of uncomfortable feelings is part of life. However, if they are perceived as bad or stressful, they are understandably quickly stripped off. Instead, they try to do something “good” for themselves. There is nothing to be said against this, as long as it does not turn in a direction that can be problematic (e.g. excessive alcohol consumption).
• Ask For Help: You don't have to get on a green branch alone when grappling with your feelings. Strictly speaking, you cannot do that because people need someone to talk to in order to seriously deal with their feelings. If the circle of friends is not sufficient for this, professional accompaniment can help, for example in the context of psychotherapy or advice from a health psychologist.

Note The measures mentioned are only points of orientation. It is about what you can do yourself to deal with your own feelings and what is helpful for you personally. It is better to set smaller goals that you can realistically achieve.