Mom, Dad, Child - First Time For Three

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Mom, Dad, Child - First Time For Three
Mom, Dad, Child - First Time For Three

Video: Mom, Dad, Child - First Time For Three

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Video: Toddler gives her mother advice after hearing parents fight 2023, January

The first time with a child

The baby is finally here, but you can't really believe it yet. The first few weeks after having a child are unique for parents. It is a time of getting to know each other, in which the roles within the relationship are also redefined.

Teamwork is an important keyword here. Couples face many changes and new tasks after the birth of their first child. Coping with these in a team is one of the most important tasks of being a parent. Experiencing the intensive time together and finding amicable solutions welds together.


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  • more on the subject
  • Advice, downloads & tools
  • Mother-father-child bond
  • Two become three
  • Talk about giving birth
  • Support from the midwife

Mother-father-child bond

Mother and baby have already developed a close bond during pregnancy. After the birth it is further intensified through breastfeeding and close physical contact; this is known as “bonding”. The father now also finally has the opportunity to be close to the newborn, to lay it on his chest and hold it in his arms. This also strengthens and consolidates the father-child bond. More on the topic: parent-child bond

So that the relationship with your child can develop and anchor undisturbed, the small family needs a lot of time and rest, especially in the first few days. Family members or friends can make a supportive contribution, for example by doing household chores or shopping, etc.

Two become three

The birth of your first child brings a lot of changes and new challenges. A new everyday life as a family begins, and the two-person relationship becomes a three-way relationship. For the new parents there is an endless amount of new things to discover and experience; it is important to reserve enough time for this.

Football twice a week and going out on weekends… Before the birth, everyone had their own free time in addition to the common one. Now the time has not only become scarcer for one's own hobbies, there is often less time for the partner. Sometimes it is not so easy not only to function as parents, but also to exist as lovers.

Because the distribution of roles changes as the family grows. Especially in the early days, the mother often directs all of her attention to the newborn. Breastfeeding also brings moments that are only dedicated to the mother and the baby. Men sometimes feel superfluous or ignored. At the same time, women sometimes have difficulties growing into this new role as the central caregiver of the child.

In this new life situation, communication between the two partners is crucial. You have to say what is bothering you, what bothers you and what you are satisfied with. Parents have to find their new roles together, the woman as partner and now mother or man as partner and father. The topic of sexuality usually also plays a role. More on the topic: contraception & sex after childbirth.

Talk about giving birth

The birth itself is also a topic that in retrospect provides a lot of discussion. On the one hand, of course, because there is hardly a comparable moment for parents when their offspring see the light of day. On the other hand, not every birth goes exactly according to the plan or the parents' ideas. If the birth was very long or complex, it usually takes some time for the events to settle down. Parents often lack the strength to do this immediately after the birth. After a few days, however, it is worthwhile to seek a conversation - with your partner or with the midwife who was present at the birth. Discussing the experience together helps to process negative feelings and traumatic experiences.

It is especially important to talk if one of the parents or both parents have been emotionally and physically affected by the birth. Fathers sometimes tend not to take their own feelings about the birth and the first few hours and days so seriously, because it is not about them, but about mother and child. But all three involved have their own sensitivities and needs. Fathers should also take their own seriously and give them space.

Support from the midwife

Midwives are often important contacts for the parents-to-be during pregnancy. The midwife can also be an important support for the new parents during the puerperium.

Every woman can get the help of a midwife. Midwifery care in the hospital for the first few days after the birth is covered by health insurance.

The costs for home visits by a contract midwife in the first five days after the birth are also covered by the health insurance, for caesarean sections, premature births and multiple births in the first six days. If there are symptoms after this time, such as breastfeeding not working or the uterus does not regress, the health insurance company will cover the costs for a maximum of seven further home visits up to eight weeks after the birth.

Midwives who do not have a contract with the health insurance company must be paid privately. However, there is a right to reimbursement of up to 80 percent of the contract rate (this is usually not the same as the amount that is on the fee note). You can find detailed information on the costs and the range of services offered by midwives at or from the relevant social security agency.

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