Tips On How To Balance Anger

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Tips On How To Balance Anger
Tips On How To Balance Anger

Video: Tips On How To Balance Anger

Video: Tips On How To Balance Anger
Video: Anger Management Techniques 2023, September

Dealing with anger, anger & Co

Anger is in principle a natural feeling that is part of life. Whether bursting with anger, swallowing it or venting your anger: regulating this stormy feeling is often by no means easy. Neither unexpressed anger nor so-called "freaks out" are beneficial to health - they put you under pressure and increase the level of stress. They can also lead to difficulties with other people.

Sometimes a small incident is enough to get you off your feet. The trick is to find a happy medium in dealing with this heated feeling. If the handling of anger is no longer controllable, professional help is important.


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  • more on the subject
  • Advice, downloads & tools
  • What happens with anger & anger?
  • Causes of Anger & Anger
  • Tips for dealing with anger & anger
  • Where can I find help?

What happens with anger & anger?

Anger is mainly triggered by unpleasant experiences or frustration. Anger creates physical reactions that bring stress with it. The hormones adrenaline, noradrenaline, testosterone and cortisol are released to an increased extent, the heart rate increases, the blood pressure increases.

To be angry and to express this feeling is mostly viewed critically by society. It is perceived as inappropriate or undisciplined. However, anger also has positive sides. This includes, for example, protecting one's own borders, mobilizing forces, highlighting the need for change, etc.

If the feeling is out of control, however, it can lead to aggression and violence (e.g. in the family or at school). Often helplessness can be felt in connection with anger, and social situations seem difficult to resolve immediately. The arousal thresholds of people in this regard are very different. Likewise the possible triggers.

Causes of Anger & Anger

Anger and anger can have many causes. These include, for example:

  • feel unfairly treated
  • feel offended
  • feel helpless
  • feel threatened
  • To be held back from a goal that one has set out to do.

Vicious tantrum

Letting the anger run free does not help against the physical side effects, the stress level remains high. Flaring anger often leads to overreactions that produce even more anger - the stress level increases. Through regular frenzy and the "permanent state of anger", more and more stress hormones are released, which is associated with health risks (eg high blood pressure). The arousal threshold sinks, one is quickly "on a thousand" and can only relax with difficulty. Muscle tension, headaches and other impairments can result. Or perhaps also social consequences (e.g. problems at work or in the family). The outburst of anger is often followed by a feeling of shame.

Suppressed anger

When anger is held back, it doesn't just stop. Permanently suppressed negative emotions are assigned a role in the development of burnout, depression, fears and compulsions. If anger is repeated for a long time, neither consciously perceived nor expressed, mainly depressive attacks are favored. Avoiding the feeling leads to great tension.

Tips for dealing with anger & anger

There is no life without anger. The feeling of anger is completely normal - although it should be seen in context. However, it is essential to ensure that these feelings do not become a burden or even danger for the person or those around them. Having feelings under control helps to cope better with everyday life.

Feel forward step by step

Find your way step by step. Set yourself rather small goals that you can meet. From time to time, however, you can also “let go” of your feelings, as long as neither you nor others are harmed. How people react in a given situation depends on many different factors. Stress and strain generally make it harder to cope with uncomfortable feelings. The life story also has an influence on coping mechanisms (e.g. which experiences in childhood are linked to it or how anger and anger were topics in the family).

Be aware of your feelings and needs, pay attention to them. Express them - but without harming others or yourself. Your anger and anger are energy. You can use this for positive actions.

It is also important to avoid harmful coping mechanisms. These include excessive alcohol consumption, drugs, etc. These usually increase the propensity for violence and can also have legal consequences. In addition, they do not solve problems, but rather multiply them.

Recognize anger

It is often not easy to notice that you are angry. Then it is also difficult to do something that makes it easier to deal with. How can you recognize anger? For example in the following reactions:

  • increased erribility,
  • Difficulty relaxing
  • very loud language (e.g. screaming),
  • high willingness to conflict,
  • strong physical tension.

These marks can indicate anger. However, they also occur in other contexts. When you grapple with it, you notice more easily what feelings might be behind it.

Tips for general anger balance

The following tips are helpful for general anger balance:

  • Be careful about your feelings. So you can already tell when trouble is brewing.
  • Write down what bothers you. Or confide in someone about this.
  • Find personal, harmless outlets for anger, e.g. the stress-killer movement (walking quickly around the city block or looking for a long-term hobby to balance things out).
  • Look at yourself with a kind look, less self-critical. In this way, you can usually meet others with less anger.
  • You may also want to find out who was or is a role model for you. Is she / he still doing this? Would you like to be like that?

Tips against tantrums

  • If the anger boils up in you, tell yourself "stop"! Or count to ten. This short break gives you leeway to calm down again.
  • When you feel that you are about to have a tantrum, consciously take a deep breath. Focus on your body. What body perceptions do you feel? Try to get away from the annoyance, for example by cooling yourself down with cold water.
  • Envy, rejection, loss of control and criticism, for example, can lead to emotional outbursts. Try to perceive these feelings and sense where anger and anger are coming from. In this way you can cushion a tantrum if necessary and come to a possible insight (eg actually having been offended). If appropriate, share this with your counterpart.
  • Unmask your personal triggers. Everyone has different “triggers” that make them angry. If you know these, you won't fall into the trap anytime soon.
  • Tantrums usually have a strong effect on the person opposite you (e.g. anger, fear, etc.). Try to empathize with others. How about the opposite for you?
  • Ask yourself, “How would I see the nuisance in a year? Would I still get angry to this extent?”This allows you to distance yourself from the triggering event and gain new perspectives.

Tips for trouble

  • Use words to express your negative feelings over and over again as the situation seems appropriate. For example: "I'm angry because …" or "I disagree because …" At first, you may not be used to it. However, some of them may be pleasantly surprised by you or understand you better.
  • If you get caught in a spiral of thought, try to break it. If you keep chewing through the anger and anger yourself, it increases the stress level. Mentally give yourself a stop sign and try to distract yourself in other ways or express your feelings (e.g. through a conversation, taking notes).
  • Sometimes it takes time to get angry. Before that, other feelings often come to the fore, eg sadness, excessive understanding of others, relativizing (downplaying) situations, etc. Feel over and over again whether you are not at least a little angry at times.

Where can I find help?

If anger becomes permanent, takes on unacceptable traits (e.g. violent behavior) or if it is hardly possible to feel and show anger at all, professional help is important, e.g. as part of psychotherapy or clinical-psychological treatment. Especially people with borderline or narcissistic personality disorders can show particularly choleric behavior. As part of a consultation or treatment, those affected learn how to regulate tantrums. Even in the opposite case, with persistent frustration and subliminal unexpressed anger, professional help can provide support. Especially when there is psychological stress in this regard. Mindfulness techniques (perceiving and naming anger) and suitable exercises (for expressing and regulating emotions) are often used.

The so-called anti-aggression training was developed to prevent aggressive behavior. Targeted training units are intended to teach how to deal with aggression and ways of reducing it. Various advice centers (including men's advice centers) offer this form of training.